Snuggly

    My Little Snuggly is cuddled up in her bassinet right next to me, soundly asleep. If you knew my baby, you'd know that this is a rare occurrence for me! She's not like the knocked-out newborns you see at the hospital. No, my little sweetheart has decided that she's too cool for sleep. This might be okay if she would enjoy her swing or boppy pillow so that I could actually take a shower and get dressed every day. But no, she likes to be up and about--preferably nursing--and if she's not, she's usually fussing. But things are looking like they're getting better. Almost every other night this week she has slept 3-4 hours inbetween feedings! For us, that's a lot of sleep. But who's counting? Look at her face. My 5-week old is full of cuteness and is impossible to be agitated with for long.

     Speaking of babies, little Eva has a new cousin just a month younger than her! Elliana Butler was born yesterday morning to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, Janna Beth and Benjamin. Although she was only an ounce bigger than Eva was at birth, she seemed sooooo tiny when I held her--and all of a sudden, my infant seemed so much bigger! But I'm happy to have a healthy little niece as my birthday buddy.
    Yes, I turned 22 yesterday. If you know me, you know that I have this really strange disdain for even numbers . . . I was trying to prolong 21 as long as possible. As far as this year is concerned, though, 22 is looking great! I have a sweet baby who daily fills me with so much joy, and John is graduating early August. I'm so proud of all his hard work and can't wait to have him home more. I'm still stalling as a junior in college . . . I plan to go back for at least one or two classes this fall, but Eva gets to call the shots. :-)
     I'm veryyyyy ready to fit back into my pre-preggo jeans. I'm not too far from my goal, but I haven't been able to cook anything good or exercise at all with a baby who won't sleep :-/ Hopefully a morning nap like the one she's taking today will become a habit for her. For the first time I was able to do a postnatal workout video AND take a shower afterwards. I even warmed up last night's grilled salmon for lunch! I feel GREAT. I think I'll feel even greater if I lay down next to little Snuggles here and rest a bit before she wakes up . . .

You smile, I smile

     'Cuz when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile

     With the sun streaming through the windows and the sound of my baby breathing in and out as she sleeps next to me, my heart is overflowing on this first day of March. Life has changed so dramatically. The air just smells better. 

     Eva is almost a month old--no, I REALLY CAN'T (and don't) believe it. Her sweet smile pushes me through sleepless nights and tiring days. She has QUITE a dramatic personality. One of our favorite little antics of hers is when she's sleeping--her little face goes in-between wide smiles and wrinkly frowns interchangeably. It's quite hilarious and one of the cutest things on earth.

     Motherhood is alot of work for me and leaves little time to think about myself at all. I'm tired all the time and don't wear as much makeup as I did 3 1/2 weeks ago. In return for work, I get smiles from this sleeping little angel next to me. I wouldn't trade one of her smiles for a thing I'm supposedly missing out on. I always knew this was what I wanted to do. I may not have the energy I dreamed of while doing this thing called "being a mom," but I have more blessed moments and sweet hours than I could have imagined in a lifetime.

"Giver of Life"

  

      I remember how special it was to listen to Matt Redman's song "You Alone can Rescue" during my pregnancy. My favorite part of the song is when he repeats "We lift up our eyes, lift up our eyes, You're the giver of life!" I envisioned my precious baby growing inside me, and nothing was more clear than the fact that our heavenly Father is indeed the GIVER OF LIFE.
     Coincidentally, Eva's name means just that. Oh, the joy and LIFE she has brought to me, her daddy, her family--everyone around her! She was born smiling and just loves to gaze, wide-eyed, at everything around her. She currently doesn't believe in sleeping--eating and being awake are much too interesting for her. At just 2 weeks old, she has given this little family of 3 more life than imaginable.
     I already can't imagine existence without her. I have always wanted to be a mother, but nothing could have prepared me for this kind of love. It doesn't have a name or a book to define it. It happened the moment I saw her. I can't even describe how it feels, other than there is something eternal about it. Call me mushy, because I am. I am utterly in love with my little girl.