The School Challenge

     Two more weeks until school will be out. UAH is likely not to be blessed by my presence until at least summer or next fall, since the baby's due date falls at an impossible time to miss school during the spring semester. As the type of person who could literally be in college forever and absolutely still love it, it was a bit sad having to miss out on spring registration. But this little girl kicking/flipping/jumping/rolling/punching inside of me is a wonderful, blessed reminder that I will be a very busy woman next semester--a very busy mom. Yes, I will be a real mommy! That beats the coolness of even being enrolled in an Ancient Philosophy course! In fact, I think it beats any coolness . . . 
     School, for me, has been a journey of life that I will forever treasure. It's not just the atmosphere of academia, the rush of students all around, the professors who challenge you at every corner, the smell of books filled with knowledge just waiting to be learned--school is a big, black, concrete question mark in my life that I'm constantly running into. I know that doesn't make sense. But UAH, for me, has been one of the biggest challenges in my life because it is constantly asking me "WHY?" Different material and assignments constantly have me running into that big question mark and dealing with things I've never had to deal with before. And being a student of the greatest Teacher, He has used this question mark in my life in a million different ways.
     My first semester, I was enrolled in an "Intro to Philosophy" course. Talk about running and slamming into that big question mark. Yes, I am a Christian. Why? Because I believe that Jesus is the Son of God who died and rose again in order that I might be saved and live eternally with Him. Why? Because the Bible says so. Why? Um, because I believe in the Bible. WHY? Because it's the infallible word of God. Why? Ah, just shut up and leave me alone!
     But no, that question mark wouldn't leave me alone. I'm sure it didn't bother the agnostics or atheists (though I hope it did). But it sure slammed on those who believed in the existence of God. Now, why was this my favorite class again? Oh, I could go on and on. But let's just say God uses things like this--even things that are against Him. If He is for us, what could stand against? What can stand in the way of His love?
     I started reading my Bible in-between philosophy and English class every single day. And somehow--no, not somehow. MIRACULOUSLY, every time I opened the Living Word it came to a passage of Scripture that dealt EXACTLY with what we were talking about in philosophy class. It showed me how to love the blind man and pray for the hardened heart. Never before had I seen so much hardness. I needed to see it--I needed that question mark because it has made me a stronger and more compassionate person. I didn't feel like a little lamb trying to be slaughtered anymore. God was WITH ME in that classroom, and I felt like the richest of kings--so incredibly humbled that He would choose little me to be the beam of the light of Christ in a dark room. I KNEW there was a God! I KNEW He loved everyone in there! And I KNEW He wanted ME there! No, I didn't end up sharing the Gospel in front of class or turning the philosophy professor into a Christian. God told me that wasn't my purpose there. My purpose was to be a good student--to love everyone around me--and to pray, pray, pray for His lost sheep that He so desires to save. I entered the class as a judgemental, somewhat weak believer in Jesus Christ. I exited that class as a very humbled disciple of Jesus Christ who taught me to love those that hated Him. The students were not honored to have me in the room--I felt so honored to have them in the room. He showed me that as I walked the halls from classroom to classroom, I was an "aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing," 2 Corinthians 2:15. 
     Two years later, my entire college experience has not been a blockage between me and my God, though you are unlikely to hear of Him anywhere in the classroom (besides, maybe, in blasphemous language). I learned and am still learning that NOTHING can separate me from the love of Jesus Christ. He is my Best Friend and Encyclopedia for all things academic. And even when surrounded by that awful feeling of a people who hate His Name--He still loved. He loved me, He loved them, and He taught me how to love them.
     I am unsure of how long this break from school will last--whether or not God decides to send me back is a decision left in His hands. I would absolutely love to go back part-time since my mom lives across the street and has already told me she wants to watch Eva if I finish school. But if He doesn't want me back, the lessons I've learned and challenges I've faced by being slammed into that big, black, and concrete question mark will remain with me forever . . . And the power of love and prayer will never leave my heart for my school. Watch out, UAH--you're being prayed for.